jacked-juicy-goonie

JACKED • JUICY • GOONIE:

Definition: A tribal, half-feral, fully-swole warfighter. 

This shirt isn’t for your average gym bro. It’s for the guy who lifts like he’s prepping for Ragnarok, eats chow hall steak with a shake of creatine, and deadlifts his trauma instead of dealing with it. If you’ve ever done pull-ups off a B-pillar, mixed pre-workout with dip spit, or gotten jacked in a warzone—congrats, you’re the goonie now.

Made for the ones who don’t skip leg day, don’t read manuals, and absolutely don’t “tone.”

💪 Features:

• Next Level N6210 tee – Handles barbell rash, blood, and protein burps
• 60/40 cotton-poly blend – Soft on your skin, hard on the haters
• Pre-shrunk – So your gains stay loud, even after laundry day
• Athletic fit – Stretches over your traps and barely contains your ego
• Tear-away tag – Rip it like you rip sets

$23.75 – $28.75

Warning: Shirt may increase gym PRs, suppress empathy, and attract deployment exes who “just wanted to check in.”